This semi-comedic training film was made for new recruits at the Siemens silicon wafer processions plant at Wallsend. An alien is mistaken for a new member of staff and is put through the induction programme. Those involved learn the reasons why they need to wear specialist clothing in clean areas and are instructed in other strict protocols which are vital in the production of silicon microchips. Title: Siemens The film opens with series of still images showing the building of the new...

This semi-comedic training film was made for new recruits at the Siemens silicon wafer processions plant at Wallsend. An alien is mistaken for a new member of staff and is put through the induction programme. Those involved learn the reasons why they need to wear specialist clothing in clean areas and are instructed in other strict protocols which are vital in the production of silicon microchips. Title: Siemens The film opens with series of still images showing the building of the new Siemens silicon wafer plant in Wallsend near Newcastle. Aerial views show the completed factory, as the commentary outlines the nature of its work. Internal views follow of the clean work areas with staff wearing special overall clothing and face masks. The film moves in towards one the wafer disks which has hundreds of microchips on it. Each microchip is made up of millions of components. The film shows various substances such as a grain of sand, speck of dust or an eyelash against the scale of a microchip. These contaminants would disrupt the function of a chip. The commentary then describes the following section of the film fictional, but uses specialist working practice and science to convey its message. The next part of the film starts with a news report, the on screen reporter being played by Tyne Tees television’s Pam Royle. The report deals with an unidentified flying object seen hovering above the new Siemens factory. Imitating a feature seen in a Star Wars film text appears on screen against a view of the night sky filled with stars. The text disappears into the distance as a narrator reads. ‘As Earth’s third millennium approached, speculation about the presence of alien life forms reached frenzied new heights. Unconfirmed sightings of craft in the skies became so commonplace that when an actual visitor from a foreign galaxy actually approached, no one took the reports seriously. The hyper ship from the planet Zorgwarble urgently needed to replace contaminated silicon supplies for its life support systems. They detected a concentrated source of the crystal on Earth, and an intrepid volunteer was sent out to investigate…’ Title: Alien In Abduction A view follows of the ornamental lake in front of the Siemens factory. A blue column of light comes down from the sky to just above water level. An alien figure appears hovering just above the water, then falls in. The view changes to the busy staff canteen. One of workers sits at a table stirs a cup of tea and begins to eat a bowl of cereal. Through the canteen window he sees the alien climbing out of the lake. The alien makes its way to the factory entrance and looking through a window sees a security guard working behind a reception desk. The alien also sees a telephone on the reception desk, and using some special power concentrates and make the phone ring. The security guard picks up the phone. While the guard is distracted the alien sneaks through the entrance. The alien finds a model of the factory building and begins to study it. He then turns and is confronted by the worker who witnessed him climbing out of the lake. An alien’s view of what is being said to him shows a distorted image of the member of staff and an unintelligible voice. The alien hits a special device he is wearing which makes the voice is completely clear. The member of staff is asking whether he has completed the induction course or not. The alien nods his head to indicate he has not completed the course. The member of staff explains he is about to present the course and gives the alien directions to the room where the induction will take place. Other members of staff arrive at the induction room, the alien walks in and the staff members stare at the stranger. The staff member who is going to present the induction asks the alien to take a seat. The alien takes a seat but the others around him detect a bad smell which seems to accompany the alien. The lecturer asks the alien to say his name, the resulting noise is unintelligible. The lecturer begins his induction programme and starts to explain the microscopic nature of the product they produce. He asks those present to go another part of the factory and change their clothing for tracksuits. Everyone is given a tracksuit package and they head off to the changing area. The lecturer attempts to confront the alien about his doubtful personal hygiene. The lecturer asks him to spray himself with some deodorant he gives him before he puts on his tracksuit. The alien tries to work out how to operate the spray canister. Having succeeded he joins the others now wearing his track suit as the lecturer outlines the next task and outlines items such as make-up which are prohibited and must be washed off before the next stage. The alien prepares to wash off his make-up, which he does leaving him with a much paler face. The lecturer then outlines items which are banned from the whole site, which includes cigarettes. The alien grasps the cigarettes from the lecturer’s hand and begins to eat them. The lecturer goes on to say that eating is prohibited in clean and gowning areas, the same goes for jewellery. Staff remove their watches and other items before going to the next stage. The alien removes his jewellery, of which there are many items. Including an item which is physical attached to his neck and allows smoke or gas to escape when removed. The lecturer remonstrates with him accusing him of smoking. The alien then has his photograph taken for his security badge. His name on the card is Mr Hrrgwrrarrghzzt. The lecturer lists some more prohibited items along with those that are allowed. The alien puts his precious belongings in a personal locker. The group now heads to the gowning area. The lecturer outlines the procedure for wiping down equipment before it goes into the clean area. The lecturer wipes down the alien’s communication device he then gives advice about the shoes that must be worn in the clean room. The lecturer outlines the procedure of putting on a gown. The alien goes off in a different direction. A sudden noise and the alien lies on the floor amongst gowns which have fallen of a storage rack the alien has knocked over. The lecturer chooses the alien to demonstrate the full gowning procedure. The lecturer gives more information now that everyone is kitted out with a gown. He mentions that ordinary paper is banned from clean areas as it gives off fibres. The lecturer hands out clean room paper that is allowed. The alien grabs it off him, turns away and appears to be eating it. When the lecturer confronts the alien about the ban on eating, he finds he has folded the paper into the shape of a flower and the alien presents it to him. After a short section about other procedures they all enter the clean room. The lecturer informs the group of other protocols they need to be aware. The alien puts his head a general waste bin and appears to the eat the contents. The lecturer feels it is probably now the right time to operate the in house vacuum cleaning system. The lecturer continues his explanations of clean room practise, which must be adhered to. The alien’s special detector tells him silicon wafers are nearby. The alien grabs ‘pods’ of silicon wafers stored on a trolley and runs out of the clean room. A commentary praises the actions of the alien in saving the fate of the hyper ship. The lecturer pastes a wanted notice on a window at the factory which reads ‘ Wanted - Name: Mr Hrrgwrrrarrghzzt Race: Unknown. For breaches of clean room protocol and the theft of fifty silicon wafers’. Siemens,’ Should the alien ever go back to the factory the commentary states, he will need to go through the induction again. Title: The Induction The following instructions are accompanied by relevant photographs, some include the alien. Title: Siemens’ Ten Commandments of Clean Room Protocol 1. Always wear a Siemens T-shirt and tracksuit. 2. No food or drink in clean room areas 3. No Smoking 4. No cosmetics (including nail varnish and aerosols) in clean room areas 4. Different accompanying image 5. No personal items, watches or jewellery in clean room areas 5. Different accompanying image 6. Clean all equipment with special wipes 7. Follow gowning procedure. Begin with hood and mask…Remove shoes to put on gown…Close zips. Wear gloves if required 8. Only use clean room approved stationery 9. Use the correct waste bins 10. Handle SMIF pods correctly – and NEVER RUN IF IN DOUBT – ASK Title : Siemens End credit: Jay – Film & Video