A comic advertising film that uses a mixture of live action and Monty Python style animation to describe the importance of television adverting in the Tyne Tees Television region. Featuring Clive Dunn as the ‘plain advertising man’ and Johnny Vyvyan as a waiter in a restaurant, also the film features the voice of Richard Wattis who helps put across the message of the film. The film begins with an image of an ornate Renaissance-style mirror. Two women stand on each side of the frame, a cherub...

A comic advertising film that uses a mixture of live action and Monty Python style animation to describe the importance of television adverting in the Tyne Tees Television region. Featuring Clive Dunn as the ‘plain advertising man’ and Johnny Vyvyan as a waiter in a restaurant, also the film features the voice of Richard Wattis who helps put across the message of the film. The film begins with an image of an ornate Renaissance-style mirror. Two women stand on each side of the frame, a cherub leans down from above. Where the glass would have fitted is written. Title: The Plain Advertising Man’s Guide to Tyne Tees Television The colouring of the picture darkens and the wording inside of the frame changes to Title: Son of… Plain Advertising Man’s Guide to Tyne Tees Television Title: Based on the original screenplay ‘Battleship Potemkin’ by Walt Disney The image changes to that of an ornate statue of a woman standing on a plinth holding a harp. She is bent over a blank space in the middle in the shape of a television screen. On the screen is written: Title: The plain advertising man’s guide to Tyne Tees Television part 2 The image shifts upwards to reveal a man (Clive Dunn) dressed in a smart business suite with bowler hat and umbrella. A red carnation is in his jacket lapel. The image of the ‘plain advertising man’ changes to show him looking despondent He shrugs and the image drops below the screen. The film cuts to show a semi-abstract animated image representing the ‘Tyne Tees area’ with rain falling over images of smoking chimneys, a gas holder and terraced housing.  The image of the adverting man re-appears showing him yawning in front of a green background.  The film cuts to show a black and white aerial view of industry and factories with smoking chimneys. The image cuts to a painting of an idyllic rural scene with thatched cottage, then to an image of a white sandy beach with palm trees. The image is replaced by that of a Renaissance-style Romanesque painting showing a woman riding a carriage being pulled by two leopards watched over by a man wearing laurel. The sequence ends back at the industrial aerial image. The film changes to a series of quick cut aerial views of Newcastle along the River Tyne and Middlesbrough along the River Tees. This is followed by an aerial view of ICI factories at Billingham, Durham Castle and aerial views along the River Tyne, Darlington and finally Sunderland. The film cuts to a number of aerial general views of industry and urban areas with smoking factory chimneys and terraced housing. The film changes to show men coming out of a factory gate at the end of a shift. The film cuts to show a football match in progress possibly taking place at St James Park in Newcastle. There are general views of the mainly male crowd watching the game intently. From the touchline a general view shows full stands with a number of young boys looking at the camera. The film changes to a department store where a number of women and girls look over a display of fabrics. A young woman holds a ‘Smyth’s’ cake box and hands a leaflet to a woman. An older couple stand and look at a new television set. The film cuts to a woman demonstrating a new cooker to a family group. The film changes again to a young woman who approaches a display window and looks at a dress worn by a mannequin. This changes to show two women talking about a pair of gloves beside a group of other women. A young woman looks at a lipstick. General views of a group of women looking at a table laid out with fabric. A pair of hands opens a cash register and places a number of pound notes in the draw. The film cut to focus on a number of television aerials that are on the roofs of a row of semi-detached houses. The film changes to an image of a waiter (Johnny Vyvyan) wearing a dinner suit apparently pushing the film away. The waiter moves to the left to show the advertising man sitting at a table eating a bowl of soup. As before the image of the man at the table changes to keep in sync with the commentary. As he continues to eat from a bowl of soup thought-bubbles appears above his head containing various facts relating to advertising. The image changes to a close up of the advertising man. A large cowboy-style hat suddenly appears on his head and he looks shocked. A bullet hole appears in the hat and the man’s head turn left. A staggered line goes from his eyes to the left of the screen. The image changes to show an open tin can with writing around the image saying: Title: 1 Strong Market The can explodes as if shot by a bullet and is replaces by an image of a milk bottle and the writing beside it reading: Title: 2 Highest Coverage Again, the image of the bottle explodes and is replaced by a potted plant beside the wording: Title: 3 High Tamratings The plant explodes and is replaced by the image of a warped-bottle. Beside it is written: Title: 4 Highest Viewing Hours The bottle is shot and replaced by a beer bottle with writing that says: Title: 5 Low Cost per Thousand The bottle explodes and is replaced by a chamber pot with flowers painted around the side. Written above is: Title: 6 Best Test Area The pot explodes and is replaced by anther empty tin can with writing that says: Title: 7 Market Research Service The can explodes and is replaced by an old boot. Written next to it is: Title: 8 Special Marketing Facilities The boot explodes and is replaced by a large ornate urn with text written next to it: Title: 9 Most Time Sold The urn explodes to be replaced by an image showing all of the nine facts written around the screen. The image is replaced by a close up of the waiter’s face looking confused. It moves out of the way to show the advertising man at the restaurant table eating. He puts the napkin to his mouth as he gets indigestion. Looking shocked he holds up and points at his bowler hat which has five bullet holes in it. He sniggers as the waiter appears pouring him a glass of wine from the ice bucket which is sitting on the table. The image changes to a face-on view of the advertising man drinking wine and speaking to the camera. A thought bubble appears with writing inside which reads: Title: U.S.P? The image in the thought bubble is replaced with a map showing the Tyne Tees area inside what appears to be the frame of television set. A number one is written on the side. The film cuts to a view of the map of the Tyne Tees area from Middlesbrough, Hartlepool and Teesside in the south to Berwick Upon Tweed in the north. The film cuts to an image of the number ‘2’ which changes to show various general views of men and women from a cross section of society crossing a busy road and walking along a bustling street, possibly in Newcastle. The film cuts to an image of the number ‘3’. General views follow of women in a department store looking at various products from fabrics to cosmetics. A group of adults and children stand and look at a dress on a mannequin in a display window. The film changes again to the image of the number ‘4’ followed by a number of quick cuts beginning with a man watching television, another man opening a copy of the ‘Evening Chronicle’ newspaper, a large advertising billboard and a queue standing outside the Odeon cinema on Pilgrim Street in Newcastle Title: 5 Tyne Tees Market Research Service Back at the café table the advertising man raises his glass of wine with a smile. The image cuts to text describing the Market Research Service as ‘fast accurate and economical’ and run by the ‘British Market Research Bureau (BMRM)’. The film cuts to a woman carrying a clipboard, she walks into a shop and shakes hands with the owner. She opens the clipboard and asks a number of market research questions. General views show the woman speaking with a number of other retailers. The film cuts to an image of the advertising man sitting at the table reading a large sheet of paper with the waiter standing just behind. The woman approaches the front door of a semi-detached house and rings the doorbell. The door opens and the woman speaks with a housewife marking her responses down in the clipboard. General views of the woman speaking with other housewives either in the doorway or suburban street. Back at the café table, the advertising man takes out a cigar and sniffs it. The waiter appears with a lighter and the cigar is lit. Holding the cigar the advertising man turns to face the camera. Four copies of the man’s face appear. Standing beside the table the advertising man points at the camera. The waiter appears with the bill on a plate which falls to the floor. The advertising man looks at it and smiles. The image changes to the advertising man looking sick with crossed eyes and drooping cigar. The image changes to show him not looking happy as he washes dishes with a bucket and cloth. Title: High Tamratings. Ratings of 40+ and 50+ Title: Low Cost per Thousand. TTTV 10 (shillings). Average all other stations 12.8 (shillings) Title: Highest Coverage. 73% Titles: Highest Viewing Hours The image cuts back to the advertising man still holding his cigar shrugging and looking unhappy. In the background the waiter watches. With his jacket back on the advertising man is ejected by the waiter who kicks him in the backside sending him flying through the air. Landing he gets up holding his umbrella in the air. There is a close up of his face looking confused besides the words ‘Most Time Sold 9’. The image cuts back to him standing with his umbrella in the air. Various photographs and painted images of various forms of transport move past him in both directions. He is animated walking towards and standing beside a bicycle. He mounts the bicycle and begins to pedal getting faster and faster. He stops and raised his bowler to the camera with a smile. He cycles off the screen. Title: This film was an advertisement for the National Headshrinkers week The waiter stands to the right of the image with a look of surprise. Suddenly his head shrinks and the screen explodes ending the film. Title: The End